He Came In Like a Wrecking Ball
Like a wrecking ball,
Sometimes we feel disappointed with God. Sometimes we don’t understand exactly what his plans are for us. And sometimes, we feel like God is just working against us. That’s okay. It’s okay to feel those feelings. In those moments, we are reminded that we are only humans and are entitled to feel these human emotions. What’s great about these moments is how God shows up and surprises us with something greater.
The other day, I was heading over to the dining hall when suddenly, one of the officials noticed that my ID card didn’t have the “knife and fork” sign (which enables you to enter the cafeteria and have some meals). Normally, with a lot of prayerful sneaking in, our team members have been able to get in with no problem. The other day, Leah and I danced our way in with Gangnam style. This time I thought I’d be friendly and give the official a nice ‘hi’ and smile. That didn’t work.
So here I was, feeling discouraged and hungry. I didn’t understand why God had allowed my teammate to go in and enjoy the food, while here I was feeling like a sad puppy! I decided to head straight back to our headquarters – seeing that I had no other way of communicating with the team. I didn’t want to worry everyone and normally, I would have my phone on me, but moments before being shut down, I gave my phone to my teammate. I decided to make the best out this. I prayed and looked up to see what there was to notice about my surroundings. Sure enough, I spotted two girls walking in font of me. They seemed like they were from South Africa, judging from their gear. I approached them, “hey, are you girls from South Africa?” They said yes – actually, they were also from the women’s soccer team. Great! Two days prior, I was able to connect with four of their teammates and was hoping to get reconnected with them. I thought these two girls would be the ones to help me. Little did I know, God had something else in mind.
One of the girls’ name was Q. Hours before, our Canadian team was able to watch their game against Canada. They lost. This was their second loss out of two games. I asked them how they were feeling and Q was not shy with sharing how she felt. She was angry at God. To her, she felt like they deserved to win that game. Their team had put 150% on the field, while the other teams have only been giving 70%. Why was God taking away the things that she’s been working hard for and the things that she deserves. She shared that this has been an overarching theme in her life for the last six years. She’s been praying, praising and letting off her steam at God. ‘Why God? I can’t be patient anymore’ was her constant question.
It seemed to me that she’s been doing what many of us often do with God when we’re angry: we talk, talk, talk, and complain. We never allow God to have his time to speak to us. We always forget the part where we listen and allow him to have full access of our vulnerability. As I spoke with Q, I told her just that. That in the moment I was speaking, she allowed herself to stop and listen to my counsel. ‘Right now, what you’re doing with me is something that you’ve not been doing with God. Right now, you’re listening to me and you stopped your little rant. Can I challenge you to do that with God tonight? Sit down with Him in prayer and just sit in silence. Waiting on Him.”
I haven’t seen Q yet after that encounter. But I do hope to see her soon and see how the rest of her night panned out that night.
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